when to tell
as we explore the concept of dating multiple people with our playa persona Ace, we come to a decision we need to make pretty quickly…i think. i think it’s a little ambiguous as to what society believes is an appropriate amount of time before you must tell them you’re dating multiple people. is it one month or 3 dates or never? (i would imagine most people would want it to be never!) but let’s put the spotlight of us for a second. i mean, how long does it really take to determine initially if you’re compatible with a person? also, how long does it take to figure out which one you’re more excited about? all i’m saying is this isn’t something to loiter with. this is real life emotions and this is how baggage gets created!
i feel like my artwork is steadily increasing but the storylines have been a struggle lately. someone wrote to me awhile ago expressing, “curious where this strip is heading.” to be honest, i’m ok with it not going anywhere. i had envisioned finn to not be like For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston, where all her characters grow up, have kids, etc. i’m ok with it being more like my idol, Calvin & Hobbes where you’re taken away to a place where time stands still and you can soak in the situation.
Re: timing — I’ve always lived by the rule that, until someone says, “This is exclusive,” it isn’t (and, for the record, in my current relationship, we are *extremely* exclusive — as in, “engaged to be married”). You don’t force it at a particular time (e.g., “two dates or one month”); you let it happen organically.
Dating is hard work; having a really successful long-term relationship is even harder. Don’t jump into the commitment too soon; IMHO, forcing commitment means that you end up trying to satisfice instead of making sure you’re actually satisfied. The flip side of this is that you have to make sure you’re not *acting* too attached, and not *acting* in such a way that the other person gets hurt (e.g., be *really* careful about spending the night together, or getting too into the “sweetie”-type words; among other things, I have *never* used the “love” word with any woman I wasn’t willing to commit exclusively to, body and soul).
Without the exclusivity conversation, everything’s fair game. Just make sure you protect both yourself and the other person from your aforementioned baggage.